Friday, April 15, 2011


George on "Seinfeld" calls it "Breakup by Association". That sounds like what has happened to me several times. I have lost friends just because I was associated with someone, or was once associated with someone.

You can only be friends with ONE of the divorced couple, but not both. You can't be "friends" with a former boyfriend, at least if he has a new girlfriend. These former friends take other friends and family members with them in the breakup. The daughter of a friend of mine, who is now a mature 17, was bereft and confused when someone she considered an "uncle" all of a sudden ended contact with her when she was only 4 years old, because his new wife was jealous of their relationship - the new wife was jealous of this guy's relationship with a child.

As for me, one of my break-ups was with a guy I was only friends with. And I don't mean a friends-with-benefits kind of friend. He was my housemate. Period.

On the Seinfeld episode, after the friends-with-benefits experience, Elaine decides that she and Jerry can't go back to being friends. But they can't go back to being lovers either.

And, since Seinfeld mirrors real life, I believe it to be true. Friends and lovers beware --you cannot go back.

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