Sunday, April 18, 2010

Mother's Day

Mother's Day is coming up in less than a month. How to spend Mother's Day has always thrown me for a loop, at least since my son Sean died. My mother died when I was only 13, Sean died shortly before his 18th birthday, nearly ten years ago, and my step-mother died less than a year after Sean was gone from my life.

I was never big on celebrating Mother's Day and Father's Day, but it was important to me to encourgage my son to remember the two fine people who had showered love (and toys) on him since the date of his birth. Even though these two days are artificially created "Hallmark Holidays", I thought it was important that Sean think of someone besides himself occasionally. We are such a child-centered society in the U.S., especially when a couple has only one or two kids to dote on, and when the economy is booming. Children of my son's generation never wanted for anything, at least until the recent recession.

After both Sean and my step-mother had died, nine years ago, I have pretty much been at a loss for what to do with myself on this day. Most friends of mine either have mothers, or sons and daughters, or sisters who are mothers, and they celebrate the holiday with them. I do have a sister who is a mother, but she lives on the east coast, and while I will call her to wish her a Happy Mother's Day, what do I do with the rest of my day, while most other families are taking their Mothers out to brunch or dinner?

Well, this year, I have a plan. I have two friends who are young mothers. One lives nearby and is a first time mother of a three month old; the other lives in Los Angeles, and has a toddler and an infant. I can't get down to LA for Mother's Day, but, with the help of cell phones and Facebook and YouTube, we can share photos, and even toddler babble. (Sometimes, I love high tech.) The other young mom I can visit, if not on Mother's Day, then perhaps the day before. And there is a third thing I am planning to do. I have another friend who is also a Mom, who I have not seen in quite a while and who I am unable to visit at the moment. She has two young childen. I am going to send her something on Mother's Day to enable her to share some quality time with her children, or possibly without her children, so she can be a better mother to her kids once she has de-stressed from her day.

This year, I have good reason to look forward to Mother's Day. Three good reasons, and I am thrilled.

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