Saturday, May 21, 2011

Foam Rollers

"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet" a famous author once penned. The saying is true of course, but lets face it - a product name can be a crucial factor in determining its fate. After all, who would buy a perfume called "Stinky"?

Which brings me to the point of this post. You see, I wear "Aligners" - braces for adults. These braces are made of hard plastic instead of that metal-wear that filled the mouths of some of my friends when I was a teenager. I didn't have a terrible bite, its just that some of my teeth had shifted over time, and when my dentist suggested it one day, I guess I was just in a mood to say "yes". It didn't hurt that my dental insurance was paying for a big chunk of the bill.

I think "Aligners" is a great name, very descriptive of its purpose. So, why does a company that sells a product called "Aligners", encourage its dental customers to use another product which is given to you with the aligners -- and which they have named "Chewies"? You see, the "chewies" are a foam-type of product, shaped like a small Tootsie Roll, that you are supposed to chew on to make the aligners fit more snugly. Whenever my dentist asks if I need more "chewies", I feel like the family dog. ("Arf, Arf, yes I would love more Chewies! Arf, Arf!! Slobber, slobber, slobber.)

So, I came up with a few substitute names for the "chewies". One was "snuggies", but not only is this name too cute, it also sounds too much like "Huggies" the diaper products for babies. My best suggestion so far is "Refiners". Aligner Refiners. I like the sound of it. It sounds descriptive, yet not too cute.

The main reason this product is still named "Chewies" because they don't need to sell it to anyone!! Several packages are provided with the Aligners, and my dentist hands extras out like candy. They could be called "Rot-Your-Teeth", but since they are provided for free, no one seems to care. Except me.

So I am asking my readers (all 15 of them) if you might be able to think of a better name for these teething rollers. I have just one request -- just don't call them "wedgies".

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